Flawed Warrior Spirit… Such an interesting name for a blog, don’t you think?? I could lie and say that it came to me in a dream or I was playing scrabble and those words lined up perfectly and clicked. However that is not the case. Flawed Warrior Spirit started out as One flawed mommy. However after blogging for awhile, I realized that One Flawed Mommy wasn’t fitting my style of blogging. So one night after hours of school work and a few nights of little to no sleep, I started toying around with ideas for a new name. A name that would fit any topic, I decided to write about.
I knew that I wanted to keep the word flawed in the name. Why you ask? We are all flawed whether we want to admit that or not. We are all driven to chase this unrealistic idea of perfection that we lose sight of what really matters. Those “flaws” that we try so desperately to hide and change, make us who we are. They make us unique. Great I had part of a name. Then in my sleep deprived state, I started reflecting on some of the words I would hear the survivors at my domestic violence counseling use. Warrior, Queen, Survivor, Champion. There is was Warrior. We are all warriors regardless of our definition of our battles. We each survive our battles, we fight them even when they seem unwinnable. So I had Flawed Warrior. That seems good but I didn’t like it. I wasn’t sold. So I kept thinking. Spirit. Something that we discussed in our domestic violence group. Our abusers wanted to break our spirits. Warriors have unbreakable spirits. It clicked like snapping your fingers.
I had my name. Flawed Warrior Spirit. Then I had to figure out how to brand it. What was going to offer readers that made me stand apart. I decided that I wanted to use this platform not only to tell my stories, my battles. I wanted my stories to give inspiration and support to anyone going though anything. I was being a bit ambitious thinking anyone would care to hear me ramble on about domestic violence, family dysfunction, autism, mental health, motherhood, or anything else. But I knew I had to try. I remember how alone I felt and I didn’t want anyone else to suffer like that. I know that maybe everyone wont face the exact same obstacles as me. I want all of you take away my strength, my desire to keep fighting. I knew from the beginning that if I wanted to reach just one person, I had to expose everything. I had to be a hundred percent about how I felt and how I reacted. My journey wasn’t easy. It was hard. There were days that I wanted to give up and occasionally I still have those days.
This blog was partly to be therapeutic to myself, I wanted an outlet to tell my story, to have my voice matter. However, once I started typing my first post; I realized that maybe just maybe my voice will give someone else a voice. Maybe my voice will help someone realize that just because you are suffering with a mental health condition, suicide isn’t the answer. Life does get better. Maybe it would show a victim of domestic violence or any abuse that what they are enduring is not their fault and they are not alone. I started this out by hoping that all my stories and struggles will help you see that you have the spirit of a warrior.
So I am going to ask you one question…
What does Flawed Warrior Spirit mean to you????